I Still Struggle by K. Lowery Moore

[K. Lowery Moore]

I Still Struggle
Copyright© 2008 by K. Lowery Moore

As a little girl, I suffered a tremendous tragedy
I was ten years old when my mother was taken away from me
Who would have known she would leave so soon—a heart attack
And no amount of tears could ever bring her back
So to cover my pain, I put pen to paper
Constantly asking God, why did He have to take her?
With every accomplishment, over and over, I cried
Nothing could seem to ease my pain inside
I want her to see the phenomenal woman I’ve become
I wanted her to be here for all the things I have done
I need her to tell me how proud she is of me
But I stop pleading because I know that will never be
So, again, I’m angry and I still struggle

Judging from the outside, you may think I’ve got it going on
Not realizing there are times I wish I was never born
I’m still torn, struggling with the feelings of abandonment
It’s not that my mother died, it’s just the way she went
Then one day something amazing happened, God sent me a sign
I heard a voice saying, “My child why are you crying?”
A feeling of inner peace would soon appear
My God told me, your mother is always near
Although she is not physically here, she has never left you
She has been there for everything you have been through
The birth of your children, she was right there
So you have to stop thinking that life isn’t fair
I made you strong, so I had to test your belief
And it pains me to see I’ve caused you so much grief
But I had to prepare you for your calling
You are still standing when you could have easily fallen
I have chosen you for a special purpose
Nothing you have done in your life is worthless
You may not see it now, but it is all for reason
I encourage you to always keep on believing
I need you to motivate and uplift
Have faith in Me because I gave you that gift
Just know your mother looks down on you with a smile
And she whispers, my Lord I am so proud that is my child

[Jill]

Heartfelt ,Beautiful,& very well written .I felt this write deeply:)

[Juanita Betts]

Such a beautiful piece, so uplifting, sad and inspirational in one. I feel the same way how you expressed your purpose from God, its amazing and the things we go through in order to see that he has something for us he wants done.
God is good, and he will show us all in tragedy, pain and good , we shall see what his plan is for us when the time comes. Some of us see it now, some see it later....but it will be seen. Keep believing and having faith, and your mom, she is with you and always has been, that I do believe.

-Keep blessing with your writing its floetry, it flows so beautiful.

-Juanita

[Tahanee]

Your poem is absolutely beautiful! It bought tears to my eyes! My mother lost her mother when she was 12 yrs old and she referred to the pain as, "Unbearable," but she found the strength to continue with her life. I am sure if this poem was created back then, it would have definitely been comforting. Your words are amazing and inspiring and I am sure you have touched the heart of many who can relate to the loss of a parent!

Peace and blessings,

Tahanee

[Diane]

Thank you for this. I wish I could be a bit more grown-up about the subject, but I just cannot. I was lucky enough to have thirty more years with my mom than you. However, the feelings you put into this poem say what I have been trying to deal with for a long while.