Back to my Church Roots

[Lynda J. Sanders]

January 2008

Today is Sunday down at Christlike PG Faith Baptist Church for the Homegoing service fo r Rev. Robert Small my first pastor. Rev. Small was 91 years old when he passed. His Homegoing was awesome and much like a family reunion for many of us. We danced and the choirs sang like back in the day. One of the songs that was the bomb, "There is not way, I can live without you!" and "I've been running for Jesus, and I'm not tired yet!" People came from out of town all over the place. I didn't realize Rev was so famous. So many people were there standing around the walls. More chairs had to be put in the aisles and had an overflow room where others watched on a monitor TV. The service begun at 3:00. I got home this evening about 8:30. There was a viewing for him Saturday 12:00-8:00. And it was announced that his burial would be tomorrow leaving the church around 11:00. I joined Mt. Airy COGIC in 1986 the year I got married. So I am no longer a member of Christlike. Sometimes I feel like going back. But that is not a good idea. How many of us what to run back to our comfort zones just because things are tough where you are presently. My mother is still an active member back at the church I grew up. Mom is 84 years old and still the president of the Deaconness Board. My father was the church Treasurer there and a Deacon up until his death. I remember moving into that church building and marching into 2901 N. 25th Street as a little girl. It was excited like moving into your new home. The church was an old movie theatre that had been renovated by a lot of the members including my daddy. I was about 9 years old when the congregation moved in. And as I sat in the Homegoing service tonight watching people walk by and hearing different ones speak it took me back to my childhood. Wow the many memories I had forgotten about until now. I saw old people that use were young then. Now I'm a mother with two teenagers of my own. I've been married for 21 years so look how long I have not been a member there. Memories of singing on the choirs and directing the Youth Mass choir came back to me. I begun everything here. People remember that I use to write when I was growing up there. They are excited that I have published my first book and waiting to read it. I performed in Sunday school and Easter plays here. Now I am an assistant Director of Drama and write plays. People can't believe that I'm not singing on the choir or directing a choir now. I've been singing on a choir since I was 4 years old. And I just recently stopped singing on the choir two years ago. Maybe one day I will go back to it. I don't know. I do want to go back to directing choirs one day. I've been often told all my life that people enjoy watching the way the Lord uses me while directing the choir. I was the first choir director of the Christlike Youth Mass choir. Rev. Small paid me and I was the only choir director my age that got a pay. When Rev. Small could no longer pay me I didn't stop directing because I loved the young people and directing so much. I didn't even stop directing the choir until I had to join the church where my husband became a church member. The young people were angry with me for leaving them to get married. They didn't understand why I had to leave. And quite a few of them I saw today. They're all grown up and some have chilcren of their own. (Don't go there about my age). I saw my old crew I use to hang out with. We still love each other as much as we use to. A lot of us exchanged numbers and said we were going to get together this year. We allowed ourselves to be too distant for too long. Though quite a few of them have not drawn closer to Christ as I have. But I was the one trying to keep them from acting up. I remember one telling me I always seem like the momma of the group. Never knew they saw me that way. I think about the spiritual fight I'm in now and my walk with Christ. It did not just start as an adult. It started way back here when I was in Christlike among my peers. I didn't even realize it then. But I realize it now with the confusion and many emotions I went through God had His hands on my life back then. People wanted to destroy my self esteem even then. Even though I now know it has been the enemy using some of them. I remember older ones being intimidated by me. I didn't even know what being intimidated meant. LOL!! I was fellowshipping among a few old church members from the past when a woman in a wheelchair stopped me. She called me by name. She said you don't remember me but I remember you. You're Lynda. She said I use to watch you when you were younger. You were always (serious). I'm serious now (I thought), but didn't know I was always that way. She said, I knew then you were going places. I could see it. Mind you this woman and I have never spoken any conversation about what I'm doing nor or if we have ever had a conversation before in life. You were always very quiet and separated from the others. (I was thinking wow!! as she was speaking). She noticed then how I didn't get involve with what the others were doing or how they were acting. And she thought that no one would be able to turn me around from the Lord. That I was going to stay with God. I was in awe with her words. You never know when someone is watching you. I kept thinking I still feel separated, unusual, unique and I still struggle within myself. But I am realizing at the age of 47 years my uniqueness is okay because God has called me to be different. The word talks about us being strangers in a strange land. And even still at times I feel out of place. I have to remind myself thought it hurts to be alone it's okay to be different. Because someone is watching and reading my life and though I maybe quiet(though loud with my humorous self). My disposition could be touching someone's life and maybe encouraging to another person that is WATCHING ME!! AMEN. written during Rev. Small's Homegoing service. I write anywhere when the writing bug hits me.