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Here Is my synopsis and part of my chapter one book, for review and critique.(strong language involved).

Life for Tanisha Davis hadn’t always been great for her. She was dealing with the devastating truth surrounding the event about her father from her mother. She had to stand by and watch how her two sisters have a loving relationship with their mother while she had to endure the constante emotional and physical abuse. She finally decided to leave Detroit to start a new life in Florida.
Thinking that was the end of her nightmare, she finds herself in a situation where she was horribly raped and beaten which almost killed her. Her fiancé left her and she had to follow the court rules of letting her only daughter have visitation rights with the very same man that raped her. All this was weighing down on her and it was just too much for her to cope with.
Instead of forgiving and moving on like her mother did, she opt for revenge which ultimately back fire!


CHAPTER 1


Tanisha’s mother staggers from the front porch to the kitchen knocking and throwing

things over looking for another beer, liquid or anything with more alcohol in it to drink.

It was a beautiful June day in 2001, but from the inside of Tanisha’s Parents’ bungalow it

felt like Detroit had rewind itself back to the coldest day in January.

“Where is it? Where is that other case of my got damn beer?” Stacy shouted as she

continued rumbling through the kitchen.

then walked in the bedroom where her husband was flicking away from channel to

channel to see what show might grab his attention.

“I don’t know baby, asked your daughters. I’ve been in here since I got off work

and why aren’t you outside with your company any way?” he said with his eyes still on

the television.

Stacy stood at an average five feet seven and she always like to wear the latest two

tone black and blond deep wave extension in her hair to give it more length. At times she

can be vey easy to talk to and your best friend especially when it comes to shopping. This

is why all three of her daughter enjoyed the most about her, but at the same time she can

also be a high-temper woman fill with resentment and a very loose tongue. Alcohol is just

one way of dealing with her past. Stacy walked as if she had two left foot from the

bedroom to the dinning room where Tanisha was seated doing her school work.

“Where is my fucking beer you trifling lil’herfer?’ she stutter in anger.

“I don’t know because I didn’t touch your beer and stop calling me out my name. I

am twenty-four years old, not four. Just like I respect you at least you could respect

me and I am getting real sick of you always cursing me out drinking or no drinking!”

Tanisha answer back in anger.

Tanisha was the second oldest of the girls and was determine to go to college to be a

nurse so she wouldn’t have to depend on her parents or if it came right down to it the

street taking care of her. living with her parents and the “favorite younger daughter” was

hell for her, In fact the only reason she still live at home was because her father had told

her that after she finished high school either she get a job or go to college.

Her mother on the other hand want her out and if she want to go to college it better

be done on her on time in her own house and not hers. The way Tanisha sees it a college

education was better than working at any old fast food joint for low paying wage. She

also knew just any old job wasn’t going to cut ties with her parent’s dependencies, but of

course she could have any man she wanted because she was a very beautiful strong black

woman. Tanisha had that natural beauty, caramel glowing complexion, and nice round

apple bottom butt. She had legs that were absolutely gorgeous and an incredibly nice size

breasts. Her light green eyes is what actually drew men to her and she always like to

wear her hair in a short layer flips like Halle Berry use to wore hers when she first came

on the scene. She didn’t want to be with any man for the same reason it would still be

depending on someone and she didn’t want to be supported by no nigga. It was always

the fears that scare her most was either ending up pregnant by no good for nothing,

trifling don’t wanna get a job man and winding back home with her parents a situation

her younger sister had chosen.

Tanisha knew at this point that she wasn’t going to get shit done not with her mother

in her face. She looked at her mother with the, I don’t believe this bitch look.

“Mom, I am trying to study so I can make something of myself at least what left of

it any ways.” She said.

“Well study this whore, how about my fist going upside your damn head.”

“I wonder why you never talk to Candice this way, and you would’ve figure with

all the trouble she had brought you, you would of have taken this tone with her and not

with me!”

“You have all the fucking answer don’t you. Why don’t you figure it out? You are

the only one who hates the fact that I wanna damn drink. So why else would have the

motive to pour my shit out. Now where is my beer?”

“like I said, I didn’t touch it and now I see why Vickie left here to joined the navy I

wish I had the -”

Smack!

The loud sound bought Carl from the bedroom and Candice from the family room.

Her mother backhand slapped her across her face. “You think you can say that type

of shit to me in my own fucking house-.” Stacy said while she was continuing throwing

blows in Tanisha’s face.

Tanisha raise her hand to block more blows she saw coming her way.

“Mom please! Please stop! I was just saying,” Tanisha cried. “Stop that hurt!”

Wham! Bam! Smack!

Instead of everyone rushing to Tanisha defense they just stood by watching and Stacy

ignored the fact that Carl and Candice had came into the room. She still was throwing

blows while Tanisha was blocking them, but she finally let up when Carl started to talk.

“What’s going on? I can’t hear the television for you two yelling and

fighting.” Carl said looking at Stacy and then at Tanisha.

“She getting her butt beat that what’s going on!” Candice said smacking her teeth.

“Baby don’t you still have your company outside waiting on you?” he said putting

his arm around his wife waist.

“And Tanisha, don’t you have your school work to do! Shit now all this yelling can

go somewhere else!” Carl said in frustration looking at the both of them.

Stacy didn’t pay no mind to what Carl was saying and keep her eyes fix on Tanisha.

Carl held his wife by the waist to lead her outside with the rest of friends.

“But she poured out my last beer! I was looking forward to that last hit, baby. She

just gets my nerves so stir up.” She said to Carl as they were walking out.

“Damn Sis, mama uh fucks you up. Go look in the mirror your pretty little

lip is all on the swollen side. I bet no niggas want to talk to your ass now!”

Candice said giggle.

But before Tanisha could take a step to the bathroom her father grabbed her by her

face and spun her around so he would be facing him

“Don’t you ever talk to my wife like that?”

“Huh?”

“Not in my house and we are the ones paying all the bills around here. Now you

need to get your act together before your little ass is out on the street! Do you got that?”

He said with an angry tone.

“Yes”

“Well I wish I can stay for round two, but I got to pick up my food stamp and then

Kyra from her dad’s house. See ya and don’t wanna be yah” she said as she left still

giggling.

Tanisha was caught off guard when her father came into the room. Everything

happen so fast that she didn’t even hear him come in and she was sure he wasn’t going to

put his hand on her neither. That certainly wasn’t the respond that she had hoped to get

from her father of all people. Sure he does make smart remakes and sit back and watch

Tanisha get the bulk of the blame. In her mind she thought Carl would be sick and tired

of his wife drinking and his down talking to Tanisha, but as far as Carl care just as long

as it wasn’t directly at him.

Tanisha could feel her eyes getting watery from the sting of her mother’s open hand

smack, but she took every strength she had to pull herself together she than gather her

school work off the table and with tears running down her pretty caramel skin she walked

to her room and closed the door behind her. Carl and Stacy later on returned back to the

house.

“Thank you baby, but somebody is going to have to pay for my beer!” Stacy said

flopping on the sofa and turning on the television.

“Tomorrow is Friday so why don’t you go out to the club with your home girls.”

Carl said sitting next to his wife.

“Shit that doesn’t sound like a bad Idea. Club Lucky is going to be on jam. Baby

don’t you want to come?”

“Nah baby, I want you to have some fun with all that Tanisha done, you need to

enjoy your self-.” Carl was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. He looks down at the

phone and recognizes the number.

“Damn baby, It my job. I’ll take it outside so I won’t disturb you.” He said as he got up from the couch and kisses his wife on her forehead.

Carl press the answer button as he walk down the flight of stairs and three houses

down.

“Hey, what’s going on, my man?” Carl asked, smiling.

“I miss you at the office, I went by and they said you had just left. Didn’t you get my

text messages that I sent you?” the voice said.

“I’ll head back to the office…why don’t you meet me there!”

“That’s what up! How’s your wife doing?”

“She’s doing ok…look we need to get a bigger place and I also have another idea for

a different type of club. Do you feel me?”
“I will be glade when you hurry up and make that move because I don’t know how

long I can keep doing this!”

“Aw, man don’t tell me you can’t handle the situation. Please don’t tell me you’re

punking out. Just hold tight and let me do my part!” Carl yelled and then hung the phone

up.

Carl was the epitome of what women and men believed a tall dark-skinned,

successful brother should be, especially when he was rocking his suits: this is what drew

Stacy to him. He worked full-time as a financial advisor during the day and a deejay at

club Lucky on the weekend. He loves the attention he still gets from the lady. He had it

going on being a gentleman one minute and a thug the next so he really didn’t care

what’s going on inside of his house just as long as the attention was off him. He

was to busy cheating on the side with his employee at his job. All he had to do to see if

they were down was to glance and the slight nod. The way he sees it as long as he kept

his wife updated with the latest fashion, the nice cars, hanging out with her friends, and giving her the best sex, he had his private matter on the side. No question asks!

Carl returns to the house and found Stacy sleeping.

Views: 23

Replies to This Discussion

Overall your writing is very descriptive, I can understand Tanisha's pain and what she is having to endure with her mother. She has the life of a family outcast, trying to mantain until she can make it. I am alarmed that she is experiencing physical abuse from her mother at age 24 (and over beer?.. I thought it would be drugs or hard liquor), seems a little far fetched but I could be missing the point. I think more concentration should be placed on Tanisha before moving on to descriptions of Carl. At this point I'm not feelng her as a character. I mostly feel sorry for her. Carl is very..interesting...somehow your writing moves me to think he is having an affair with a man. I could be wrong about that but I'd love to see what happens. Overall, while your writing is descriptive and your dialogue is good, the story could use a good deal of editing for grammar and word choice. I am a sucker for a good story, so I look foward to seeing how things turn out. Good Luck!

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