Chapter Two: “Can you believe it?”
Ari
Pulling up to my house, I noticed my mom’s car wasn’t there. Good. Now I can
take a long hot bath in peace. I thought to myself. We lived in a two bedroom, one
bathroom apartment. It wasn’t much but we were comfortable. After about twenty
minutes of relaxation, my phone rang.
“Hey Heaven, what’s up?” I said as I answered it.
“Girl, why I finally let John take me out and he came to pick me up in a station wagon;
his Mama station wagon?” Heaven complained.
“At least he had a car. He could have been picking you up with a bus ticket.” I laughed.
“I would have flipped. Anyway, I was calling because my Mom and Dad left earlier to go
to Australia for a week. I was thinking instead of us all meeting up at a restaurant, you all
could come over here and chill?” She asked.
I knew all Heaven wanted to do was drink. I had to work in the morning so I wouldn’t be
staying long. But I hadn’t seen her in a while and it wouldn’t hurt to pay her a visit.
“Who’s all coming?” I asked.
“I haven’t called Tora and Marissa yet.”
“Well, yeah, I’ll be there. Let me get myself together.” I told Heaven.
“Ok I’ll call Tora and Marissa and see if they’ll stop over. See you in a minute.” Heaven
sounded happy to be having company. Maybe because she didn’t want to be alone.
Maybe that’s why she hadn’t moved out yet. Nah! Heaven was spoiled. Moving out
meant responsibility. Heaven didn’t know the meaning of that word.
I met Heaven when she walked into the clothing store I worked at. Only rich girls
could shop there. Meaning only girls like Heaven had the funds to spend that kind
of money on clothes. The cheapest item was a pair of $65 socks. Unreal. When I first saw
that, I asked the manager,
“Ok, what do these socks do that’s so special to make them $65?” I had never seen
nothing like that. He just answered that they are designer socks. “Unreal” I thought to
myself. I couldn’t even afford $65 socks. Anyway, I guess Heaven was doing some
shopping that day. We glanced at each other and both knew there was something familiar
about one another. We later found out that we went to the same college in Atlanta. After
a few more run ins with each other, we became friends. 3 years of friendship. Now, I’m
pretty sure you could see that we are completely different. How we remain friends, I
don’t know. But I’m not one to judge. We’ve never took our friendship there. So I
planned to leave it like that.
Once I got out the tub, I got myself together to go over to Heaven’s. When I got
there, Marissa’s car was there but I didn’t see Tora’s.
Marissa
“Yes Mama.” I said answering the phone and getting in my car; looking at
myself in the mirror. I had just gotten off work and I looked tired. My eyes were heavy
and I had just pulled my recently dyed hair into a ponytail. I had put on 5 pounds in the
last month. I was not feeling like myself today. I was normally a person who tried to look
good all the time. I worked out a lot; 4 times a week if I could. I wasn’t skinny but I
wasn’t heavy either. One week of not working out could make me easily slide up to 155
pounds. I kept my hair and nails done. Got pedicures in the summer. I tried to take care of
myself.
“Is your Daddy gone? She asked as my attention went back to the phone call.
“Yes and I’m gone too.”
“Oh why didn’t you stay? We could have talked a while.” This was the one of the few
times my mama wanted to sit and talk. She must have been drinking.
For whatever reason, my mama did not like dealing with my dad. Anytime he had
to come pick up the girls, she would leave and tell me to come over. I didn’t know what
her life consisted of anymore but I knew we weren’t a priority.
“No Mama, I need to get home.” I said.
“Don’t be forgetting about your responsibility. I know I haven’t. It’s time don’t you
think?” She asked getting an attitude. I could hear the wind in the background which
meant she was driving and on her way home.
“I know Mama. I know. So why aren’t you here? I know you’re not busy every
Thursday.” I said back with an attitude.
“Girl look, don’t change the subject. I’m not gonna always be able to be there for them
and you know that.” She replied back.
“Alright Mama, I hear you. Just stop neglecting what’s really important. It’s affecting
your relationship with your daughters.” I said.
“You got a lot of nerve to tell me what I’m neglecting” she yelled.
The conversation ended just like that. Well something like that; she hung up on me. Me
and my mama talked but it always went back to the past. As for a relationship, we are on
speaking terms but not the way a mother and daughter relationship should be. She has
done a whole lot for me but she just threw it up in my face too much. I had a problem
with that. At the same time, my mama hated the truth. She was way too bitter about the
divorce 10 years ago. When I would tell her to let it go, that’s when she’d get on me
about my responsibility. We got along but some of my past mistakes didn’t sit well with
her. We didn’t talk about it much. We just let the past be the past and lived our lives. But
somehow I could feel things were changing in our family.
On my way home, Heaven called to see if I wanted to come over. Her parents
were out of town and Ari was coming. I didn’t have anything to do so I went. Heaven
was Ari’s friend but we all hung out together from time to time. I met Ari my sophomore
year in high school when we moved from Marietta to Decatur. Ari was my first friend
there. Ever since then, we have been really cool. I felt bad for Ari. Everything always
seemed to be so hard for her. But I could relate to her because our family wasn’t perfect
either. The type of person that Heaven was, I didn’t understand how she and Ari were
friends. But it wasn’t my place to judge. To me Heaven was over the top spoiled. She
would have her day, I always said. Karma comes back. But Heaven was living in a totally
different world from the rest of us. Our world was called reality. Her world was called
Heaven’s world. Not like what we believe heaven is suppose to be but what “Heaven”
has fantasized her life should be like. Driving up to Heaven’s parents 8 bedroom, 6
bathrooms, 3 kitchens, 3 dining rooms, 3 living rooms, 6 balconies, 1 game room, tennis
court, basketball court, 2 pools, 3 Jacuzzi’s and too much more to name, mansion, my
phone rung. It was my husband Antwone. We’ve been married for 2 years. Together for 4
years. When we moved to Decatur, I put all my time and energy into school and my
sisters. I didn’t pay the boys any mind. Then out of no where, while I was in college, I
met him and it was history from there. He lived in New York; finishing up Law School.
Studying in New York was a dream for him so I agreed to get married before he moved
there. I must say the relationship was working.
“Hey, I miss you.” I answered.
“Me too babe. How you been?” He asked.
“I’m good. Just missing you.” I could tell he was smiling.
“What you smiling about?” I asked.
“I got your card and letter. Thank you.”
“Your welcome baby. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I was thinking about
you.”
“I know babe. Thanks for sticking it out with me. Soon as I’m done, we can go make
some beautiful babies and start our family. I don’t want anything standing in my way
either.” He said laughing. But I just got quiet.
“Babe?”
“Yeah I’m here.” I said.
“Well I gotta study. Big test tomorrow. So I’ll call you later. Ok?”
“Ok Baby, love you.”
Antwone was a wonderful man. I didn’t understand what I had done to deserve him. He
grew up with his parents and brother, Anthony, here in Georgia. Antwone had a
personality similar to my daddy. Maybe that’s why I was so attracted to him. He was tall
and brown skinned. Clean cut like my daddy but more muscular. Pretty white teeth that
stood out every time he smiled. I missed him like crazy but that conversation made my
heart drop. Babies. I didn’t want to talk about that. I was trying to get as far away from
that as possible but what goes on in the dark must come to light.
Tora
I couldn’t go to Heaven’s house tonight. I wasn’t in the mood. Ramon had been
acting up lately and I needed to deal with this. I needed to get away but home was a
priority right now. When my son, Kareem got in the bed, Ramon walked in the door.
“Finally.” I said out loud. Ramon walked straight to my son’s bed, past me as usual. Ten
minutes later when he was done tucking his son in, I said.
“We need to talk.”
“About what Tora?” He answered annoyed.
“Us! What do you think? Are we together or what? You come and go as you please and
you act like your only here for Kareem. Well you fit him in when you can but I thought
we were doing this together?” I was fighting back tears. Hearing my sister’s word’s
linger in my ear.
“He ain’t no good. He don’t care nothing about you. You just blind.”
He stopped. He looked as if he was beginning to feel bad. Maybe guilty.
“We are in this together. But you know work is crazy right now and it has most of my
attention. I love you and it’s all about what we trying to have. Me, you and our son. Ok?
You gotta believe me on that.” He said kissing my cheek.
“Alright, Ramon. We need you too though. Don’t make this attitude a habit. I got things
going on too you know.”
Now that I had gotten some things off my chest to Ramon, I thought about going
to Heaven’s but when I looked at the clock, it was too late and I was too tired. I
remembered Heaven saying something about Ari as I was peaking through my curtain’s
earlier waiting on Ramon to come home. Then as my thoughts were going, I noticed that
it had been a while since I last saw Ari. We normally see each other at least once a week.
But this week at the day care was a mess. They had me training a new girl again and me
and Ramon’s issues were taking a lot out of me and with Kareem playing basketball after
school, I had to be there for him. I had been neglecting my girl. I made a mental note to
call her tomorrow.
Me and Ari are childhood friends. From elementary school to now. That was my
girl. I never had such a loyal, trustworthy, confident and outgoing friend. We’ve been
through everything together. Everything but Mommy hood. She hadn’t taken that step
yet. I was proud of her though. Trying to be better and do better. She was even Kareem’s
Godmother. My grandmother, Grandma J, always told me to watch out for Angels in my
life. God would send me a special person to be there for me. I think Ari was my angel.
Grandma J never lied either. Everything she said either happened or was about to happen.
My grandmother, my moms’ mother, was the only person who stuck by me through
everything I had been through and I never had to worry about her looking down on me.
My mama was there but not like Grandma J. Nobody was like her. Grandma J would tell
me how God spoke to her and talked to her about her children and grandchildren. She
tells it like it is and loves you through all your flaws.
Ramon interrupted my thoughts when he came up behind me with a hug-kissed
my neck then walked away. Ramon was a sexy chocolate brother I had fallen in love with
in high school. I was very lucky because all the girls wanted him but he only wanted me.
He stood about 5’9 with long fresh braids in his hair. They fell past his shoulders. He
loved flashy jewelry and any name brand clothes. He always made sure Kareem was
dressed to impress. That was the one thing he made a priority; dress Kareem in the nicest
stuff. He and Kareem were like the double mint twins. Like father like son. When I found
out I was having a son, Ramon was so proud. One thing me and Ramon had in common,
we loved the hell out of our son.
As I turned around to see Ramon leaving the kitchen I noticed the back of my
shirt was damp. As he turned the corner I saw he was wearing a towel. He had just gotten
out the shower. Normally he came home, ate first, played with Kareem, watched a little
TV then took a shower. Not the other way around. He always came in and laid around for
a while before he jumped in the shower.
“What! Not on my watch.” I thought.
Heaven
I was beginning to regret calling Ari and Marissa to come over. I was nothing like
them. I loved to party and hang out; they were nothing like that-more homebodies than
anything. There were plenty of girls at my school who would have loved to come over
and have a good time; Taisha, Monica, Tiffany, man I should have called one of them.
Don’t get me wrong, my friends were cool but sometimes, they were too serious about
life. To me life was about having fun and living for the moment. I guess I didn’t have the
drama they had in their lives so I couldn’t relate.
I’d met Taisha, Monica and Tiffany-along with Ari at my school. I was in school
to be a Physical Therapist. I hated school but my mama said I couldn’t just sit around her
house. I had to do something with my life. I had two more years to go and I was done. I
couldn’t wait.
When I was just a baby my parents decided to move to Atlanta. My mom still had
friends in California so every summer me and my mom would go visit. I missed it
though. The spear of the moment parties, the beaches and all the places to shop. I
couldn’t understand why we had moved to Atlanta in the first place. California was much
better, I think. My mom said that my dad had a lot of business here and it was pointless to
stay in California. Whatever! I was eventually moving back.
I told Mama Angie that I was having some friends over. She was always really
cool about whatever I did; unless it was something serious. Mama Angie was a Mexican
American lady but she didn’t have a Mexican accent. The only way you knew she was
Mexican was by how she looked. She spoke proper English. Mama Angie always wore
her hair in a bun. She was a short hefty lady that moved slowly around the house. She had
been working with us for 23 years. Mama Angie didn’t have any other family. No
children or siblings. She had a son but he died of SIDS at 8 months. She told me her
mother and father died at a very young age and she doesn’t remember anything about
them. So I became the daughter she never had. We had a lot of workers in our house but
only Mama Angie lived with us. The other workers would leave at the end of their shift
and return in the morning. Mama Angie fixed us a big snack and went to her room for the
evening.
That night, my mom and dad called a million times to check on me. They still
treated me like a kid in some ways. I had a pretty good relationship with my parents; I
didn’t keep secrets. They told me that nothing was a secret in this house. When I started
dating boys, my mom wanted to know everything. She said it was better that way. Better
she hear it from my mouth than someone on the street.
You would think that me being the only child, my dad was overprotective; a girl
especially. But he wasn’t. My mom controlled everything in our house. Where the money
went, how we spent it and most importantly, how I was raised. She told me that money
makes the world go around. Find you a man that’s gonna take care of you for the rest of
your life and you’re set. She always made sure I was a diva and that I knew exactly
how to act like a diva. She told me that I was special because my parents came from two
different races. She said no body else was like me and there would never be another
Heaven. Light skin, long silky hair. Slim but curvy. She said God didn’t give me all these
beautiful features for nothing. Everything about me was well put together. So if you think
I’m stuck up, well “I get it from my mama” Now a daddy’s girl I was not. Mama Angie,
my nanny, was more like mom and dad because they stayed on trips and cruises and
when they weren’t on trips and cruises, my daddy was around the world or here in
Atlanta being a neo surgeon. That was when my mom gave me all her advice about how
to be on top of things. I do my best to live up to my moms expectations.